Eerie Shudder

Wayne and I stole a few moments of our lunch hour to slip into the World Prayer Center here in Colorado Springs. A wave of peace billowed over us as we walked through the front door of the main prayer room.

We found a seat facing the mountains, closed our eyes, and let the worship music soak into our spirits.  Silently, my prayers and praises ascended to the Lord.  

After prayer, my first thought was about the many prayers packed into that place—how far reaching and deep they are and have been—stretching to the uttermost parts of the earth or to a hurting child in the neighborhood.  

Next I thought about the tears that have accompanied those prayers. So many intercessions rising here and many tears spilled—of compassion and burden and joy. 

I shed a tear in that place too. And it amazed me. It was for Ted Haggard. His public disgrace and fall touched and affected many of us. Somehow being in this prayer center, situated next to the church Haggard once pastored reminded me of the situation. I grieved again for his family and church and the Church at large.  

I felt the shame, the loss, and the ugliness of it in a fresh way. Yes, steps of reconciliation have been set in order, and God is forgiving… but 

it made me shudder. 

I am aware of the hypocrisy of my own life at times.  

I believe that God does not see sin in degrees or types. He sees it as whatever separates us from Him. 

God is holy, and He is not mocked. 

Any one of us could be publicly shamed and scoffed for a myriad of sins. 

That eerie shudder stayed with me the rest of the day, not because I am not a recipient of God’s forgiveness and grace; but that the  content of my choices is fearsome.

4 Comments

  1. i am ever so grateful for His grace & mercy.
    I have been reminded alot lately of where I come from. the things i did before knowing Christ & even the things I do now that are full of sin….
    saw it again last night talking to some of our teenagers at 1829…. and in the midst of sharing myself, I literally felt waves washing over me.

    He is good. in spite of ourselves!

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