Shadows

It has been some months now since I have written about the passing of my father-in-law last December. The grieving process continues. I still cry at unexpected times, and I enjoy great pleasure in many warm memories as well. Recovering after the death of a loved one is a process.

Sometimes I just sit and think, “Wow, Dad’s gone. I will never see him again on this earth.”

Of course, the  grieving journey has been less painful for Dad’s children and siblings than his wife. Mom is just one now, separated from the person she made covenant with for nearly 50 years!

Mom has been healing, pressing forward, reaching out to others, and we are so proud of her. Still she has her shadowed moments of loneliness and pain.

This weekend we took a trip to the graveyard to see the new gravestone that had just been mounted. It is a double-stone with both Mom and Dad’s names, wedding date, and birth and death dates. It heads two plots. Dad has proceeded Mom into heaven, they have unclasped hands for a brief moment…

While at the cemetery, we had a solemn moment of prayer, remembering the joy of Dad’s life and the powerful influence that he had on his family and friends. Now mom stands alone, still saying good-bye at his grave. Her single shadow darkening the gravestone.

We will never see Dad’s shadow again, but we still feel it. Somehow the family abides, nestled in under the wonderful, eternal legacy of his life, faith, provision, and love. His shadow remains and so do the benefits he left.

When I think of Dad’s shadow, I remember my heavenly Father and the fact that I am daily living in the benefits of the shadow of His wings of comfort, love, and provision. What a place of refuge in these times of uncertainty!

Practically that means that God’s love will bridge any gap or deficiency in my life and my family’s lives. He will provide in the most wonderful ways. When things are crazy and I can’t depend on constancy in a job or a bank or a person or a country, God will be there. I have found him to be faithful in the past, and He will be faithful in the future.
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).


4 thoughts on “Shadows

  1. Bonnie,
    Once more you have touched my heart with your elegance with words . It was especially
    sweet to me because I have walked the path
    of death in the loss of my precious Guy.

  2. Bon, this is so beautiful and how wonderful for a sweet daughter in love like yourself to write it. These are precious times to be remembered. Give your mother in love a hug from David and I

  3. Thanks for sharing this Bonnie! I still have those moments where I cry or even just wish my mom were here to see something going on in my life. Times where I do wish she could have seen me being a grandmother, patterning my life after her and the way she treated all her grandbabies! I’m not sure we’ll ever get over losing someone this side of heaven, so I long for the joyful reunion that will be.

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