I turn 75 tomorrow. I don’t feel old or irrelevant, although my culture may tell me otherwise. Older, more savvy friends and pastoral mentors shared with Wayne and me in our early 40’s that life doesn’t even get really fun and rich until your fifties. That was a bit of experiential advice that I put on the back burner; it was a hard one to believe. I thought to myself that time would prove this to be true or untrue.

As it happens, that couple did not lie. Life IS so much better in your 50s and 60s and 70s. I would also like to add that each decade gets even better. The obvious is true that with age comes tenacity, increased long-term vision that lends itself to patience and faith that life is–ironically–exactly what you choose. 

This couple chose joy and fun and forgiveness as they aged, and it inspired me to do the same. That is why life got better!

My three takeaways from 75 years are as follows.

I

Life happens across the kitchen table. I grew up like any American kid sitting with my siblings before school with boxes of cereal in front of us and big bowls of the same ffilled to the top with milk. We slurped cereal and snickered together until our mother scooped us up and out the door to school. 

Then supper came later, and there was conversation, laughter, the emotional out bursts of silly, tired children, sometimes parental correction, and lots of stories, and memories.

There have been countless cups of cocoa, tea, coffee, cookies, Christmas candy, and drinks around the kitchen…holidays, dinner and birthday parties,  meals after funerals, reunions, sad goodbyes.  

Life happens across the kitchen table, even if you don’t cook or live alone. It is so much more about connection than food. Real relationships develop and can last a life time. 

Do not neglect the kitchen table.  

In modern life, maybe the kitchen table is Starbuck’s or  the local pub or bar or restaurant. The fellowship you find there lasts for a lifetime.

The Jews have been great at not neglecting the dining table. They keep Sabbath. Weekly the family gathers and eats good food and shares their lives. It has been said that it is not been the Jews that have kept Sabbath,  but rather that Sabbath that has kept them together as a people group. They have more longevity than any ethnicity on earth.

2

Life becomes stable and fruitful at the altar of a church.

Globally, church attendance has generally continued its long-term decline in most developed countries, but there are recent signs of resurgence among younger adults, notably Gen Z and Millennials, especially in the United States. Some regions report stable or growing numbers, but overall, attendance is still below pre-pandemic levels, and regular weekly attendance worldwide is lower than in previous decades (Pew Research).

Recent studies show a noteworthy reversal as young adults (Gen Z and Millennials) now account for the most regular attendance. In 2025, Gen Z churchgoers in the U.S. attend nearly twice a month on average, and Millennial attendance is up 18% over previous rates. This generational uptick is not yet restoring overall attendance to historic highs but signals a shift toward renewed interest (Barna Research).

Don’t neglect going to church, nor the altar of a church once you get there. It is an akin to the conversations that you may have and learn to love around the kitchen table where fellowship with your family and friends is as important as the air you breathe. 

The altar of a church is where you have conversations with God and sometimes clergy. They give you perspective and depth and eternal meaning. These conversations also offer you the opportunity to confess your sins, to unload your burden, to see a new perspective, and to be inspired and enabled to do better in life.

With that said, not all churches offer you the opportunity to go to the altar to get things right. You can also do this at home, but the fellowship and friendship that you find in church is essential for living a life of longevity and joy. 

And yes there are hypocrites at church–plenty. Did you know they are also hypocrites at the grocery store, post office, police station, and even in the courts of justice? Should we distance ourselves from all these hypocrites? No. For we are hypocrites as well. We cannot afford to live isolated in our homes because of the failings of other people. What lonely, selfish, and desperate lives we would live. 

The answer is to be kind hearted and forgiving to one another. The companionship that you find in church is a treasure and invaluable to your life. You need that community around you.

My daughter grew up in church. We brought her in a car-carrier and put her on the floor during the church service before she was too young to go into the nursery. She grew up with the worship and learning the Bible studies and with childhood friends that are still companions now that she’s an adult. It is a community that will last forever and ever. And few Americans have this stability and joy in their life because the church has hurt them in someway. 

My advice is just forgive and find someplace where you’ll be at home at church and someplace where you can find an altar to do business with God. This community will wrap around you like a warm blanket on long winter evenings.

3

And my third piece of advice or take away is that when you can combine the kitchen table and the altar of the church into one–you have the best scenario. 

Our family entertains more than most Americans because we learned it from our church. We are very community driven, but we not only ask church members–we ask some that we may not know as well or who may not have a place on Thanksgiving, etc. And sometimes around our table before we eat, we might talk about our lives a bit. As is usually our custom, someone has a special need or a heartache. This gives us opportunity to stop and pray for that person and take the need before the Lord in the presence of community. This is a prime example of when the kitchen table and the altar become one and people’s needs are met in full. 

Well when it’s all said and done 75 sounds good to me, and I feel like my shoes fit just right. I still feel that I’m relevant and have purpose and things to do. I still feel like I have a message to share, and I’m doing it. And I do remember that scripture admonishes us that it is better to be with the Lord than it is to be here on earth. I also still believe that. I look forward to seeing Jesus one day and also relatives and friends that have gone before me to heaven. That will be the sweetest table and altar of all when we sit down to eat the marriage supper of the Lamb with the Lamb of God who shed his blood for us. What a grand meal that will be. 

How wonderful it will be to hear from across the kitchen table of heaven the story that Jesus will tell us–the one about how much he loved us and that He came to earth to die and live that we may live extraordinary lives, full of joy, and forgiveness, as Jesus has forgiven us.

-Bonnie Saul Wilks